If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not selling advice.

-Norman Augustine

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

-Groucho Marx

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

-Redd Foxx

All of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to greater things.

-Bobby Knight

A billion here, a billion there, pretty soon it adds up to real money.

-Senator Everett Dirksen

It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations.

-Sir Winston Churchill

I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.

-Hunter S. Thompson

A diplomat... is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

-Caskie Stinnett