If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not selling advice.

-Norman Augustine

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

-Groucho Marx

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

-Redd Foxx

All of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to greater things.

-Bobby Knight

A billion here, a billion there, pretty soon it adds up to real money.

-Senator Everett Dirksen

It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations.

-Sir Winston Churchill

I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.

-Hunter S. Thompson

A diplomat... is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

-Caskie Stinnett

Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.

-Laurence J Peter

The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.

-Thomas Jefferson

Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.

-Albert Einstein

It is not always the same thing to be a good man and a good citizen.

-Aristotle

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election.

- Bill Vaughn

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.

-Ogden Nash